I am a 36 year old mother with a 2.5 year old genius, married to a lovely man who at present has switched roles with me in propping me up as my whole life seems to revolve around pain.
Normally I am the strong one who people talk to and come to with problems etc. I've always been a good listener. My life has changed so much in the last year because of the pain that ATN has caused me.
I work full time as a Finance Manager at a local building society and have so far told my boss, who is the FD, and have told the HR manager. Today I told the CEO as he had noticed that I seemed to be working from home quite a bit and had even asked my boss if I really was working from home. Fortunately he was very understanding but suggested at some point that I might email the office and branches to let them know that I was suffering from an "illness". Got to say that I was fairly horrified at the prospect, knowing how offices gossip etc. After talking to my boss, I am even more determined NOT to tell people. I for one am having to come to terms with being heavily medicated and that pain relief is not a weakness, something instilled in me by my family.
I struggle at work, I am tired, spaced and really have to focus to perform my job to my expected levels. On the plus side I am working really hard when I am at home as I worry that people assume that I am not and probably sitting and watching awful UK day time TV.
This latest attack has been going on since March this year and today is a really bad day. It even hurts to talk, which when you are normally an outgoing person, is tough. I feel light headed, spaced and in major pain. I am slowly building up the Gabapentin along side Amitriptyline. I have high hopes that this combination will eventually work but also worry that the side effects will affect my work. I'm not sure if this is how other people feel? If so, how do you cope? Have you made everyone aware of whats going on or do you just soldier on?
I've got a lot of reading to do and combinations to try and am grateful that I have an understanding GP who is reading up on ATN and completely open to my suggestions. It's a struggle and whilst I try to remain upbeat for my family, days like this are really hard.