Nourish the Soul and Let the Light Shine Through

Nourish the Soul and Let the Light Shine Through

By Albee Shanefelter

November 17, 2011

12 weeks ago to the day, something occurred that I am certain will change my life forever. A nagging ear ache suddenly became searing intense pain across my right cheek. As time passed, this pain deepened and became more and more severe. After various Doctor visits, numerous brain scans, tests etc; the diagnosis was Trigeminal Neuralgia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trigeminal_neuralgia

Since then, I have been to hell and back. With the intensity and duration of the daily pain episodes, I could not perceive that there was any way that I was NOT dying (well guess what?? I am not dying – not today anyways :-).

The downward-spiraling shrouds of darkness along with the intense electrical firestorm exploding inside my head (note only the right side) literally brought me to the edge and it was there where I was forced to dig deep, very deep and look directly into the very center of my own soul.

It was there that I found a light – not an ordinary light, but a magnificent, brilliant, fantastically bright light that was emitting immense strength and energy. From that very moment, I took a conscious decision that I will never give in to the darkness, I must weather through each and every storm regardless of how severe the torturous pain may become, I will do everything in my power to nourish the soul and let this bright light shine outwardly towards all who shall cross my path.

I share this with you today not to gain your pity or sorrow for my current or future pain, but with the hopes that somehow I can leverage my experience to help others. I do not believe I will ever fully recover (although that would be nice), but with the help of modern medicine I have already improved and will continue to do so over time.

Please channel any good will, prayers and positive thoughts not to me, but to my family (wife, kids, parents, siblings, in-laws, etc.) as they truly are the ones who have braved the wrath of this beast along with me and helped & encouraged me to find this light within such that it may shine on far beyond my time on this Earth.

If there is ever anything I can do to help you or a loved one cope with chronic pain or really in any other way, please reach out to me.

God bless you, love to you all, and of course, May the Force be with you!

This was wonderful to read. You have a way with expressing it. It really lifted my spirits on a difficult morning.

smiles...love this...I too have a strong faith and look deep inside for that strength that only God can give. SMILES!!! :D

Thank you so much for that. I've been extremely depressed for the last month and can't seem to get out of it. I've had this disease for 11 years and have gone to hell and back, literrally. I don't see anymore lights at the end of the tunnel. Ive had so many procedures, medications, in and out of the hospital and my family has really lost me this time. i have no want to do anything anymore. I've never been this bad before. Im glad I found this site and hope together we can all come up with something. I did find a place in myrtle beach, south carolina called laser med center and it pretty much guarantees that you will get 90% better. The problem is its not covered by insurance and its alot of money, plus the treatment is twice a day for 30 minutes each session and you stay there for 2-3 weeks depending on how bad you are. Im at my wits end!!!!

Natalie - Ill message you offline, but you should have a chat with Red on your options before you spend your life savings. Also, join the Group Encouragement, it is to help folks when they feel EXACTLY how you feel right now. So do this, when you are NOT having an attack, think about what you would want around you to help weather the storm upon the next attack and do it. I am literally building out my "happy place" that is room for me to go into when I am having a massive attack - it is filled with things that bring me the most pleasant thoughts and things I know will distract my brain from the pain. Further, if you are not taking Vitamin D - start today!! (of course, you should go to your Dr and have your level checked, but guarantee it low) . Also I strongly recommend getting a happy light (a uv light) and spend 45 to an hour in front of it every AM - even if you have to get up early. It may be just mental, but I swear everyone I know that uses the VitaD + Happy Light has made it through the cold winters without getting the deep dark blues. Lastly, talk to your Doc about the depression - I just found out that since diagnosed I have developed an extremely high level of anxiety (and I am super manic - happy one min then hear a sad song that drives me to uncontrollable sadness..), they prescribed (yes yet another) med that actually makes me feel very "normal" again - even during a massive attack

Albee, who is Red? How do I join Group Encouragement? I have been leaving messages for my Dr. for 2 days now( not uncommon for him not to call back) Ive had the same Dr for 11 years and am afraid to change. Ive had way to many things done to me and meds changing and going to the er. is a fuckn nightmasre., they look at me like im a drug seeker. Esp the p.a.'s who prob dont even know what it is that i have

its lovely!

Oh, Albee, thank you so much for this. I read it exactly when I needed to. God leads our souls where they should be when they should be there at times. . . .and, it just so happens that your blog page was where I needed to be at this moment in time.

God bless you!

Phenomenol message Albee. That really helps after a string of bad days. Thanks.