I am in crisis, Need help!

I am getting very tired of having the TN for such a long time, it has disabled me for last 2 years. I lost my job because of the disability and can't work anymore. I am just 37, never imagined my life to be like this.When i was teenager i had lots of ambitions, so i worked hard to sturdy well. I became an engineer and had very promising career. After working for 10 years the TN took the turn for worse 2 years ago. SInce then i have become a stay at home mom, doing the unproductive work. My DH has all the responsibility to earn for us, and he is in lots of stress lately. I feel helpless and feel sad that i can't do anything about it. I have a 9 year old to take care of, which i can't do good enough. Lots of time i have to tell him "mommy is sick!". Now he says he doesn't like that. He wants mommy to play with him and i can't do that. Now the summer break coming, he will be home, all the friends i have are working moms, so can't ask for help from anyone. My family leaves far from me, so no help from them as well. I don't know what to do anymore. I want this to be over now. It feels like it has been million years since this started. I am ready to go back to the way i was before. I want to end this life, but worry about leaving my son for my DH to take care of, i sometimes feel like if both myself and my son are gone, DH will be in less stress and may be happier. He will find a better person to spend life with, because, i am sure i am not the one. Here is the only place i can vent about this feelings, i can;t share this with anyone, none of the friends, family, not my DH. Nobody understands how it feels. Whoever read this, "Thank you for reading this, I know you understand" I have maxed out on meds so only hoping for it to.go away on its own. Hoping for this to end one way or another.

OMG! Please know that there are so many people on here that understand what you are going through. My TN began when I was 37 and I am now 41. I am also maxed out on my meds but luckily my last MRI showed a blood vessel running up against my trigeminal nerve. …this was my third mri with die. So May 30th I am going to take the plunge and have an MVD. I pray that it works because I am very depressed and am hardly able to work due to the side effects of my meds. I also have a 11 yr old daughter.
Please hang in there…demand an mri and also if possible an MVD…it really is our ONLY option to see pain free days again.
Feel free to contact me on here or face book…YOU ARE NOT ALONE. HUGS!!

I hate sitting at my kitchen table reading heart felt pleas for help and understanding from people and not being able to do a thing about it! My ATN appears to have gone bi lateral in the last couple of months so I'm feeling down in the dumps too. I'm so sorry for your pain and even though I can't help please know that I care.

Hello buttercookie, I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. Everyone understands the dark places that thoughts go to when dealing with chronic pain and illness. I hope you are able to talk to your family doctor for help and support? They will be able to put you in touch with people who can help. We are also all here for you to reach out to but sometime you may want someone you can speak to so do please use the crisis helpline if you want to talk when you're low ... here is the number from our Main page: 1-800-273-TALK.

We value your friendship and participation here so please promise you will call the helpline, buttercookie.

JulesG from ModSupport

It pains me greatly to read your message. I joined this group because my Mom has TN and I am trying to find ways to help her cope. Most of the feelings you expressed, I have heard my Mom say. Please know that the people who love you feel your desperation and want to help. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Hi Buttercookie,

I have been thinking about your post over night. I hope today brings a better day for you.

Buttercookie, we would love to hear from you. How are you doing? Please come back and post when you have a few minutes, we miss you.

Seenie from Mod Support

Been praying for you!!! How are you today?? I have same as you, have recently tried medical marijuana. Helps!!! I live in a state where it’s legal. If I didn’t live there, I would move. It doesn’t have same side effects as smoking it and I can work like before. Let us know how you are.

Hello Buttercookie. How are you feeling today? I hope you have found some pain relief. This may sound silly but I left my job because of the pain and felt as if I was no use to anyone. I found that volunteering here gave me something to do and the messages I get from people here means I know I have made some sort of difference to their day. I also make and sell jewellery which I run like a little business. That makes me feel like I have achieved something when I sell an item. Wishing you all the best. Mary