Another trip to the ER was required by me tonight, well just got home - it’s 3:30 AM, I left home at 1:30 AM so pretty quick for an ER trip.
My Anger is at this Doctor. I have seen him before. This was the fourth time I’ve met this particular doctor, the only one on call at this rural hospital tonight.
The first time I saw him last year he told me to go home and take Ibuprofen. The second time I saw him, he told me I don’t have TN, the third time he just ignored me because he’d asked if I had had an MRI, I said yes it was done at Logan hospital. He then had told me that I DID NOT have an MRI because if they’d done one for me at Logan it would have been on their hospital records also, and it wasn’t…
This early AM, was the 12th visit there since NYE. Again tonight the pain had gotten that bad I was virtually screaming - so I drove to the hospital, on a lovely foggy humid night, post storm. HE WAS ON DUTY! I could feel the grimace of pain in my face when I saw him. I am always having to explain to him about my condition… He does not like me and I do not like him. Tonight my pain was bilaterally affecting me and within the space of 1 hour before I left home had jumped from a 4 to an 8 out of 10. By 1 am it had reached 10.
He does not believe me when I tell him whats happening and he offered me something called “prodeine” which is just 500g paracetamol + 15 mg codeine. Geez, I’ve got stronger stuff here at home… So I told him no, couldn’t they just give me the Toradol as before - it had been 3 weeks since my last ER visit there and he started bickering with me over dates. I said the 11th of Feb and he said the 12th. On the 12th I had driven to the City hospital ER an hour away at 1 am in the morning because that was where my Neuro appointment was later that morning, so I do know where I was… They don’t share records…
How odd, it’s not like I’m going in there seeking pain drugs all the time, I’m going in to get anti-inflammatory meds, that has no addictive or sedative properties whatsoever! He eventually told the sister to give me 1/3 of a 1 ml dose of toradol! Thanks - like giving me the whole 1 ml dose would have hurt me. Then telling me he’s going to phone my Neurologist tomorrow morning to discuss ME. Read on to hear about the Neuro. That conversation between those two doctors will be damaging to me, I know it now. I have copies of admission documents written up by him previously. The day he’d insisted I did not have TN, and I got angry, he wrote me up as having anxiety issues and that he’d referred me for counselling (by the way, he did not tell me that he wanted me to have counselling.
My Neuro is an idiot. My tegretol doesn’t work any more see, so he’s put me on Lyrica. 9 months after I told him Tegretol wasn’t working. Lyrica has given me edema of my feet, my feet got all swollen up after only 3 weeks, so my new gp changed my med to Gabapentin instead. Gabapentin in Australia is restricted only to Epilepsy patients, so now this may also get my GP into trouble.
My Neurologist had told me that Lyrica & or Gabapentin were my last two choices, that there was nothing else he could do for me, and that I would never be eligible for any surgery due to my being bilateral… So now, I’m going to have this idiot dr at the hospital and my idiot neuro talking about my case behind my back. This is going to stuff things up for me big time. The Neuro wouldn’t issue Gabapentin because it’s restricted, so that left my only choice remaining from him to be Lyrica and look how well that turned out.
Some background, I learnt this year that the anti-inflammatory med called Toradol took away the pain of my attacks. Like all anti-inflammatory you can’t take them consistently for more than 5 days. So, this hospital doctor amazed that I wouldn’t take codeine, refuses to give me an anti-inflammatory because as he says - TN is not caused by inflammation hence there’s no point giving this to me!! What The??? If it’s worked the dozen times before, why wouldn’t it work again? They are worried I MAY get a stomach ulcer. God help me, I’d rather the stomach ulcer.
heck, I’m tired it’s after 4 am - I’m sweating profusely, stirred up, angry, in pain and I just know, that when all is said and done and I let this anger go - I am simply going to give up. I’m tired of having to fight every doctor I meet, I’m tired of hearing I can’t help you, I’m tired of being in pain. I would like to think that if it’s that bad I’ve driven myself to the hospital on a rainy, foggy night at 2 in the morning after having taken all my pills hours before with no affect and now in agony and tears - that I once again have to fight to be heard.
My Mother was at my Last Neuro appointment with me, where she heard him tell me there wasn’t anything else he could do - sacrificing me to remain in my life in pain, to be discounted at every turn, to be smiled at as he gave me a “commiserating” pat on the shoulder as he escorts us out the consulting room door. This is not good enough.
Signing off for now. Hoping everyone else is doing better than I feel right now ~ Kerry (ko) …
PS: Thanks for hearing me out.