My friends have joked that I am a Pollyanna. I try to face my day with a positive attitude. When faced with adversity I think, "Someone else has it worse." When I think about having the MVD surgery I think, "Its only a few months of my life for a long term result." I read the stories on here and think , "I am so glad we have each other." When I look in the mirror and see the changes TN has made, I think, "Not bad for 43." (lol) When I look at my significant other and think of all he has had to deal with, I think, "I am so lucky to have him." And then there is my job, "How wonderful it has been that they work with me though all of this." My children are so in tune to my pain and are trying so hard to help me though it. I think, "I raised great kids."
I am truly blessed. My life is surrounded by people who support me even when they don't fully understand.
There was a point where the true meaning on TN, the suicide disease almost got me. In Feb of 2009 a month after my ENT doc preformed a sinus surgery to correct the only thing he could find wrong with my face, a broken cheek bone that had healed badly and a deviated septum, I came out of surgery in the worst pain I had ever felt. Drugs wouldn't touch it. I couldn't sleep. I cried and cried. In the middle of the night I would do every thing I could to find relief. I even had thoughts of jamming a knife into my face. It really was my darkest time. The pain would radiate up my face. It was always there. I lost 27 lbs in 1 month...hell of a diet. But through it all I was still a Mom, still an employee, still had to live. I faced every day thinking, "At least I'm alive."