You read my mind Vicky..I actually came on here today to post something similar. After months of being in intense pain and not being able to function, I finally decided I would take my best friend up on her offer to spend the day in San Francisco. After being on tegretol despite the horrible side affects, Im still able to manage. I took her up on her offer, because I needed some fresh air and a girls day like the good ol days. Well all of a sudden my pain started...and it went from mild to worse, and even more worse.
So there I was ruining our day out. I was trying to fight it for a while and she kept making conversation with me. I wondered why she wouldnt stop talking, didnt she see I was in so much pain? I toughened it out and we eventually left home. I came home and took my tegretol.
I sat up in my bed and reflected on my life. Im 24 years old, a student, career woman. I had a very active social life, everyone wanted to be around me, I was that person that walked into a room and people would say "now the party has started."
Now...my friends have just stopped inviting me to things because they already know what the answer is going to be. When they attempt to come over and see me, I wonder whats the point? Im in so much pain I cant even talk. My job..I love my job, I have all these projects waiting for me, but I can't seem to start or finish any of them.
Im not married...I cant even imagine getting into a relationship because of my health.
I too wonder about my future and my life. I dont want TN to take over my life....I dont want to be on medications for the rest of my life that dont make me feel like myself. Whats the answer?
Recently I got a brain MRI done that took over an hour...still waiting on the results.
I just seen my friend post on her facebook about how shes headed to a meeting, a conference, and then dinner with the girls. That used to be me....the busy body. Now Im just this person whose in pain all the time. I still get the "how are you, are you better?" Im tired of always saying "no, still in in pain." Im a fighter, but what can I do, the pain is out of my control.
What the future holds I dont know? It scares me....this has changed my life in so many ways. I too believe in God and hope that He will see us all through this.