Anger

Who does one cope with the anger? I do not do very well with the pain, I am angry and I want to throw things and smash things. I hurt and cry. Any suggestions?

Bonnie, how long have you been diagnosed? I was so very angry at first, it took a while for that to die away. I did not throw things but the anger was acute. it just took time with me, I have levelled out now.

Boxing gloves and a dummy??? I went thru a stage where I was mad at the world... :(

Anger is one of the natural stages of grieving for loss -- and facial pain patients often have some profound losses. Many therapists and counselors are trained to assist those who grieve to go through the process more quickly and with less disruption and conflict in their lives. There is another thread underway on-site which speaks to some of the issues involved in therapy and counseling for pain patients.

Regards, Red

Thank you all for your support and suggestions. I have only been dealing with this for 6 months and had really hoped that it would go away. Some days, my anger is overwhelming, I know it spills into all aspects of my life. I do not want my anger controling me, I want to control my anger. Easy to say, hard to do. I will have to work on it.

Bonnie .. for me I also had loss of feeling on the right side. My GP told me not to be so hard on myself cuz its tough to lose that. The same can be said for losing normalcy of life without pain.. So don't be so hard on yourself. Your gonna have days where you are gonna be mad or sad. This is NOT easy to deal with. I have had this for 7 years and I still have my moments. Hang in there.. Min

Thank you Min C. I keep thinking why am I being tested like this with so much to carry. I know things will get better in time. I will try not to be so hard on myself.

All of what I just said was said with much compassion.. you just can't tell with internet.. Blah.. :) Your friend. Min

Hi, Bonnie Cute…on the heels of what Red said about anger being one of the steps in the greiving process…I found that going into my room by myself, I could journal as long as the anger remained. Often under the anger I found pain. Anger acts as a protective mask over pain. Once all my angry words were ‘let out’…the sadness of this reality would surface. These feelings would poor out as well and once I had a half dozen pages written, it was over. I really learned the value of processing these hard things in life. My old way was to push the feelings aside and get on at the task at hand, burying those feelings. Found out you can’t bury feelings as they are alive and will pop up somewhere down the line…usually when it’s most inconvenient!! This summer I will buy a punching bag to hang in my garage and gloves like Min suggests! Ha! I’ll use it for exercise AND any anger that may come up :wink:

Accepting what we cannot change. Justbetweenus.org

encouragement for me today.

So, I go to the Chiropractor and get an adjustment. He is convinced he can help me, I'm doubtful. I also found a Reflexology chart for the face and perform those exercises this morning. Life is great, I have had no pain since yesterday (when I had to resort to pain killers) then this little red car decided they wanted to be in my lane, so I had to lay on the horn to keep from getting hit (a car accident started this). GUESS WHAT!?! Yep, my face is beginning to hurt, I suppose it will be full blown here shortly. I still think I shouldn't be so dramatic about this, and I hate to complain, there are a lot of people worse off than I am and I know them personally, but dang. If she had stayed in her lane I may have had a pain free day. Makes you want to bite nails in to.

so I have a "small" temper :-) this was pre-existing, but what I have found is that the TN and the meds used to treat it (all our maintenance meds) exacerbate any of my flaws such as limited patience, forgetfulness, not finishing projects.


Think the key is that if this is anger (for your acceptance phase), then it may pass. If not I HIGHLY recommend rechanneling it into something else such as building in exercise sessions into you daily routine - it helps a great deal.


For me, I swing from Laughing, to crying, to angry, to laughing again ...was not like that before this TN

LyndaS: Hello! Thank you, I think journaling is a great idea and I really need to do that but I have not started one yet. Usually by the evening, I'm hurting really bad after having to talk all day long at work. I must set aside time to do this as I know I would enjoy it. I do set time aside to spend time with my daughter and my pets most evenings. I also make it a point to take Cody and Boo (my dogs) for a walk no matter how bad I feel. Fresh air and exercise always does a person good.

LyndaS said:

Hi, Bonnie Cute...on the heels of what Red said about anger being one of the steps in the greiving process...I found that going into my room by myself, I could journal as long as the anger remained. Often under the anger I found pain. Anger acts as a protective mask over pain. Once all my angry words were 'let out'...the sadness of this reality would surface. These feelings would poor out as well and once I had a half dozen pages written, it was over. I really learned the value of processing these hard things in life. My old way was to push the feelings aside and get on at the task at hand, burying those feelings. Found out you can't bury feelings as they are alive and will pop up somewhere down the line....usually when it's most inconvenient!! This summer I will buy a punching bag to hang in my garage and gloves like Min suggests! Ha! I'll use it for exercise AND any anger that may come up ;-)

BullitBaby: The everyday stresses are many and they too often get me as well. Just something small turns our world into alot of pain and suffering. A Chiropractor may help and I would like to try one also but I think I am going to an accupuncturist first.

Bullitbaby said:

So, I go to the Chiropractor and get an adjustment. He is convinced he can help me, I'm doubtful. I also found a Reflexology chart for the face and perform those exercises this morning. Life is great, I have had no pain since yesterday (when I had to resort to pain killers) then this little red car decided they wanted to be in my lane, so I had to lay on the horn to keep from getting hit (a car accident started this). GUESS WHAT!?! Yep, my face is beginning to hurt, I suppose it will be full blown here shortly. I still think I shouldn't be so dramatic about this, and I hate to complain, there are a lot of people worse off than I am and I know them personally, but dang. If she had stayed in her lane I may have had a pain free day. Makes you want to bite nails in to.

Albee: Hello! At times my anger just mushrooms into something gigantic, like a snowball gaining momentum. All the while I'm sinking more and more into the madness of anger. Eventually, the anger dissipates but it's like everyone here says, keep your self busy with constructive things and to not focus on the pain. I am angered by the constant pain and my lack of understanding as to why this happened but it happened and now I'm left to deal with it. I have always thought that postitive thoughts do the most for us. I think anything constructive helps whether is it exercising or journaling (which is a good idea anyway to keep a pain journal). I enjoy spending time with my pets and being outdoors.


Albee said:

so I have a "small" temper :-) this was pre-existing, but what I have found is that the TN and the meds used to treat it (all our maintenance meds) exacerbate any of my flaws such as limited patience, forgetfulness, not finishing projects.


Think the key is that if this is anger (for your acceptance phase), then it may pass. If not I HIGHLY recommend rechanneling it into something else such as building in exercise sessions into you daily routine - it helps a great deal.


For me, I swing from Laughing, to crying, to angry, to laughing again ...was not like that before this TN

Bonnie I also have been recently diagnosed 6 months ago and some days I am angry, other days I cry..it is just so frustrating , Tegretol makes me spacey and pain meds make me useless, I cannot take my meds and go to work(I work as an RN in a hospital). this is the main reason I have sought out this site for support , I know I cannot continue to be angry everyday but it is hard , bless you everyone is here to help..sometimes I try reading but occasionally it just helps to vent ..this disorder is so unfair and debilitating and it leaves a person feeling like "why me?" Yoga has helped me alot for the anger issues but the frustration and pain persist..I try to get through it day by day sometimes minute by minute , find something you enjoy and try to channel that anger the very best you can ..blessings to you

I feel the same way sometimes. I only use 1/2 of a vicodin to try to keep my headaches manageable, but nothing helps with the stabbing pains except ice... when I have waited to long to take a pill, my personality changes bigtime.. I get very irritated and down right mean.. its like the pain is so bad, I cant get past it,, makes me wanna rip something up... or smash something too.

I'm glad to see other people feel this anger like I do... I wonder, besides feeling hopeless, cause nothing works, why we all get so angry.. I know that during this whole time dealing with my headaches, i had gotten so depressed. I burst into tears every time i went for a check up on progress.. now, im on anti depressants, and gained 60 pounds from being a guinea pig for a bunch of different anti seizure drugs.

Hi, Bonnie.

After being diagnosed for three years now, and hitting denial stage, I'm only now hitting the "anger" stage.

I haven't looked at your profile, so I don't know if you're type I, or II. Being Type II means that MVD, and procedures, are probably useless. Once I realized this, I'm angry. Why me? What now? I'm too young. What about my family? Why?

I wish I had advice, and I hope that we both come to where Jackie is, sooner or later. I guess it's grieving your former, well self. I guess it's normal. But, I empathize. This is hard to accept, especially for "go getter" with a "lust for life".

One thing that helps me is finding peace in the small things. When I focus on something small, a small accomplishment, or task, I find my day goes by faster, and I'm not as angry.

Best wishes to you,

Stef

Go to the dollar store and load up on sponges. Throw those at the wall. Safe way to get anger out. Or beat up a pillow. That's what I do. I get very angry when I can't sleep and that's how I get it out.